[Alex's Trip]

Lately I've been feeling really fucking lonely. I can't stand it. It's become overwhelming. I'm missing out on a lot in life, namely a relationship. I know that when I get older things will get better, but in order for that to happen I'll have to leave for a bigger city, leave all the people I know, and start over. And that just makes all the friendships that I have now seem pointless, and I end up being more detached from everyone, my family especially. Being in the closet for so long really has put a lot of space between me and my family. I hardly think of them as family members that I love unconditionally (except for my little sister), but as people that I have to live with, and as a result I judge them in a way that I don't think children normally judge their parents. I just...I don't like who they are. I don't want to be around them. I don't think I could ever tell them these things because of how hurt they might be.

I don't even know what I want anymore. Do I want to find someone that I can care about? Do I want to get away from my family? I have lots of love to give, I just don't know where to put it.

I'm not asking any questions or anything, and I usually don't like posting all this emotional shit on message boards, but I can't sleep tonight.

[Norma J]

In the future, probably acouple of years from now, you'll miss these times (...maybe). I mean, I sounded rather similar to you a few years ago (except for the hating of my parents but I rarely spoke to my family even though living in the same house). I was a recluse. I could never find anyone I liked anymore than a one night stand. And all I cared about was art and felt that alientated me from most of society. Now, I have been in a serious relationship for over 2 years, I still feel the same about art but I now see it as unattainable unlike when I was younger and would see it as a possibility/dream. And I'm older and I don't see life the same anymore, it feels as though life is passing/has passed me by. I am alittle envious of the youth, to have that fire in the belly taht I once had, that "I'm gonna be an artist no matter what. One day I'll make it, you wait and see", as opposed to now "You don't always get what you want in life" outlook. I mean, I make it through the days and I'm relatively a happy dude, but there always feels like there's something missing these days and that my days are numbered. I guess I'm just insatiable. And I'm only 24. I think what always got me through was the thought of better tomorrows, but now I don't even see tomorrow.

Oh, well, I don't know where I was going with that, so I'll quit jibbering now.

[davenotdead]

I dont have a ticket for splendour in the grass...i didnt buy one because the artists didnt interest me...but i was just walking around the campgrounds, and decided that i wouldve had a good time anyway...there's plenty going on...little girls everywhere...and i wouldve been drinking anyway...so now im kinda sad...i did see about 12 dudes and even a chick hop the fence...but im too lazy and just dont think its worth the fines if i got caught...

[luxinterior]

I would say you're just depressed because Harry Potter ended, but there seems to be more to it than that. Maybe stop putting so much importance on this idea of relationships, and thinking the quality of your life is less because you're lacking one. You're young, so why commit to another person right now? You might miss out on a lot if you do that. Play around. It's just the way I feel...I mean, nearly every time I start getting close to another person, I have to distance myself from them because apparently I can't commit to anything, but I also don't like anyone enough to justify being in a relationship with them. I don't like feeling tied down, like I have to always hang around the same person and take their interests into consideration before ever doing anything. When I'm on my own I can do whatever I want and it's loads better.

[Alex's Trip]

I think you're right about the relationship thing, but the thing is that I get depressed about it because I don't even have a chance to be in a relationship. You know? There is a difference between choosing to place less value on relationships that I could be having, and not having anyone to have a relationship with at all.

Thanks, Normal J.

Lux, I love you, as always.

[SynthethicalY]

Hmm, I used to feel the same way, that I needed to leave the city for another one. But the matter of fact is, that my problems would have gone with me no matter what. If you want to find yourself a boyfriend go to your school gay club, I am pretty sure you have one. Also you are just getting to know yourself, that is why you are getting detached from your family, I know I went through that. If you want to talk message me.

[luxinterior]

Originally Posted by Alex's Trip

I think you're right about the relationship thing, but the thing is that I get depressed about it because I don't even have a chance to be in a relationship. You know? There is a difference between choosing to place less value on relationships that I could be having, and not having anyone to have a relationship with at all.

Thanks, Normal J.

Lux, I love you, as always.

You don't have a chance to be in a relationship? But you're so beautiful!

[Sheriff Rhys Chatham]

I find the need for a relationship to seem quite important sometimes. But with me I'm not willing to just date any one becuz we share an interest or two. I see my friends dating new people every few weeks. What's the point? I'm going to be turning 18 in less than a week and i havent been in any sort of relationship. I mean at first it was quite depressing. But now, I don't know, I just got over it. I realized that it's not the company of others that makes me me.
on a side note I hate when people say they can define you by the company you keep. I always hated that. It's not true, not with me atleast. But back on point.
Relationships are just that, oh fuck nevermind I lost where I was going with this. Oh well. la la la, do de do de, wo, wo ,wo, hmm.

[Alex's Trip]

Originally Posted by luxinterior

You don't have a chance to be in a relationship? But you're so beautiful!

I don't know any other gaywads.

Synth, nce school starts, I guess I might meet some gay people. I hope so. If not for a relationship, at least to have other gay friends. Our FLAG club didn't have any gay people there when I went. What the fuck.

Sheriff, I hope I can get over wanting a relationship too. Thanks.

[SynthethicalY]

That is stupid, not any gay people. In college I met some gay friends, and it's cool. That was the first time I came out.

[luxinterior]

Originally Posted by Alex's Trip

I don't know any other gaywads.

Synth, nce school starts, I guess I might meet some gay people. I hope so. If not for a relationship, at least to have other gay friends. Our FLAG club didn't have any gay people there when I went. What the fuck.

Sheriff, I hope I can get over wanting a relationship too. Thanks.

What the hell? No gay boys at all? Weird. What's your type anyway?

[Alex's Trip]

Well, there are some gay guys at school that I know of, none that I am acquainted with.

[SynthethicalY]

Alex don't think about it too much, you will find somebody. I thought like you till I met the guy I am with. I can't believe it is almost a year at the end of august.

[_slavo_]

Cheer up, Alex. You're good looking and witty, you'll have no problem finding someone for a happy relationship, sooner or later.
Just be patient and try to focus on enjoying life.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by luxinterior

Maybe stop putting so much importance on this idea of relationships, and thinking the quality of your life is less because you're lacking one. You're young, so why commit to another person right now? You might miss out on a lot if you do that. Play around. It's just the way I feel...I mean, nearly every time I start getting close to another person, I have to distance myself from them because apparently I can't commit to anything, but I also don't like anyone enough to justify being in a relationship with them. I don't like feeling tied down, like I have to always hang around the same person and take their interests into consideration before ever doing anything. When I'm on my own I can do whatever I want and it's loads better.

i don't think that's the real point. i think that the real point is that the boy is horny. he rationalizes/romanticizes it as "a relationship" but i think what he means is he wants to grapple some manflesh.

 

Originally Posted by Alex's Trip

I'm not asking any questions or anything, and I usually don't like posting all this emotional shit on message boards, but I can't sleep tonight.

yeah. that's called "being 16 and horny". take a cold shower

--
but have a little material/physical fun eh? books and computer games all day can't be good for you. and this is from someone who loves books.

ps- join the wrestling team

[Alex's Trip]

I'm not that much of a nerd! I don't sit around playing computer games all day!

The wrestling team would be pretty hot, but I don't think thats going to happen.

As for the horny teenage boy, you're probably right. For the most part in the past I've been able to separate "horniness" and "loneliness" but maybe I've just been a little too much of both lately.

Originally Posted by _slavo_

Cheer up, Alex. You're good looking and witty, you'll have no problem finding someone for a happy relationship, sooner or later.
Just be patient and try to focus on enjoying life.

Aw thanks.

[Danny Himself]

I'm lonesome too. If you're ever in Liverpool, call me.

[Danny Himself]

....PSYCHE.

[SynthethicalY]

Why you got to toy with his emotions Danny?

[Disgruntled Youth]

Pills are Good!!!