[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

I'm sitting at the end of the bar slouched over a Red Stripe.

Bill Murray is the bartender.

Here by Pavement is playing.

[alyasa]

Puke, oops sorry... I tend to do that at bars...

[SynthethicalY]

I never been to a bar. I think I am missing things of life.

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

this is an imaginary bar.


I walk over to the pinball machine. Let's play some pinball Synthetically!

Mystery by the Wipers is playing.

[SynthethicalY]

You better be careful I am very good at it.

Also, I just realized this is a singles bar, so I might leave.

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

I play a round of pinball and score 440,000.

No pressure, this is a singles bar, but I'm straight. I don't see any girls around, might as well play some pinball.

[SynthethicalY]

I could really turn that phrase really gay.

I beat you I scored 500,001 points.

[alyasa]

After clearing up my stuff, I walk over to play pool with some girls lounging around. After they beat me, I sit down to talk to Bill Murray... "Hey!" He says, smiling; waving, when he spots Scarlet Johanson coming in... I go listen to the band...

[pbradley]

I open a tab and tell the bartender to keep the double scotches on the rocks comin'. I tell everyone trying to make small talk with me to "feck off."

[ALIEN ANAL]

i walk in and me and johanson start having amazing sex on the bar as everyone watches our pales bodys slide against one another

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

Bill Murray smacks his head "not again"

John Goodman- the bouncer- looks at Alien Anal and tells "go take it to an elevator Giovanni Ribishi!" and starts to break up the hot sex.

I order a rum and cola, put my back to the bar, and lean back in a cool pose, with my sunglasses on, scoping for chicks.

[SynthethicalY]

I see Thurston Moore come in all sweaty from a rocking concert.

[pbradley]

The ceiling rips off and God sticks his head in and tells us that there is a ten dollar bill in each of our left pockets. And there are.

Then he tells use to bugger off as he floats out the front door.

I quietly call Him a cunt.

[ALIEN ANAL]

what r u doin in here thurston!

[SynthethicalY]

Originally Posted by pbradley

The ceiling rips off and God sticks his head in and tells us that there is a ten dollar bill in each of our left pockets. And there are.

Then he tells use to bugger off as he floats out the front door.

I quietly call Him a cunt.

With his ears like ben stiller he catches the remark, and lights your hair on fire. The room roars with laughter.

[pbradley]

I kick God in the balls and he disappears in pain and shame.

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

Thurston yells "Sonic Life!"

then buys everyone a round

I go over to the bulletin board and post an ad "guitarist looking for a band" right next to a bulletin that says "This Friday: Gang of Four at the SY singles bar, Opening act: Thurston Moore and Nels Cline"

I then pay my tab and yell "goodnight guys! be back tomorrow!" then I leave

[alyasa]

I see the poster for Gang of Four and get really estatic, then I see Nels Cline's name and sit back down despondently... By this time I was really wishing Laila would come into the bar.. Then I remember she's Muslim... Damn, there is no God...

[SynthethicalY]

I see beautiful women, and want to talk to them.

[alyasa]

I see Syntheticaly and want to spank my radio... I ask the band to play I dreamed i Dreamt by SY and pass them the 10 dollar bill God gave everyone...