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Old 05.21.2008, 01:32 PM   #1
Rob Instigator
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hghjgyjghdjnghjnghjsgh
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Old 05.21.2008, 02:05 PM   #2
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I am better than your kids.
If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:
 
Megan, age 4First of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be a dog, then it's the shittiest dog I've ever seen. F
 
Kyle, age 8You spelled America wrong asshole. Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow anywhere, traitor.F
 
Lisa, age 6Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipshit.F
 
Cameron, age 4Terrible. F
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Old 05.21.2008, 02:06 PM   #3
Rob Instigator
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Terrible. F
 
Bryce, age 10This one wouldn't be too bad if the color were kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you. On one hand I want to give an A for effort but... F
 
Jon, age 8Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit. F
 
Rachel, age 7That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler. F
 
Jason, age 6This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this. F
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Old 05.21.2008, 02:06 PM   #4
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This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this. F
 
Seth, age 4Vrrrroooooooooooommmmmm! F
 
Kelly, age 9This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now pack up your shit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously. You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers? F
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Old 05.21.2008, 02:08 PM   #5
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there's a girl at my art school who draws like that
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Old 05.21.2008, 02:10 PM   #6
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I did not write these things BTW

I knew several people in art school with horrid horrid draughtsmanship skills. I mean, fucking TERRIBLE.

I always told them, "hey, there's always photography!"

ha ha!
I always used to rip on photographers.
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Old 05.21.2008, 02:41 PM   #7
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Rob I - I see you're aware of the work of the manly pirate-man that is Maddox. Nice .
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Old 05.21.2008, 02:47 PM   #8
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I laughed so hard when I first discovered that article.
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Old 05.21.2008, 02:54 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob Instigator
I always told them, "hey, there's always photography!"

ha ha!
I always used to rip on photographers.

People still do that ALL THE TIME

when they say it to me i just reply really sarcastically

"You're right, i have been wasting my life"

or

"I know, i mean anyone can do it, all you do is point and click, thats not art!"

people don't usually know what to do after that.
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Old 05.21.2008, 02:59 PM   #10
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^^^ ms screaming s - surely a better thing to say would be "Fuck you, you ignorant cnutwit!". I mean, there's taking snaps, and then there's proper photogrphy, innit?
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Old 05.21.2008, 03:03 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by MellySingsDoom
^^^ ms screaming s - surely a better thing to say would be "Fuck you, you ignorant cnutwit!". I mean, there's taking snaps, and then there's proper photogrphy, innit?


yeah, tried that "fuck you man, my photography is awesome" thing for the 1st year of my photography course, it never worked.

Trust me, agreeing with them that photography sucks and is not as good as sculpture or painting is far more effective.
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Old 05.21.2008, 03:08 PM   #12
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Photography is better than sculpture? What? This all sounds like my bloody A-Level art classes. At least with that we knew at least one of our teachers was a bit of a piss-artist, so we'd forgive him a lot...I ask you, how many iconic 20th Century sculptures can be remembered by your average art fan, compared to photography?
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Old 05.21.2008, 03:14 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Danny Himself
I laughed so hard when I first discovered that article.

So the article is by the Maddox idiot then.

I don't find anything funny about it at all.

What I don't like though is parents that overinflate their children's egos with bumper stickers and the like. They are obviously overcompensating because, knowing deep down that they are shit for parents, they make a show of revelling in the fact that their child made some decent grades.

crap like this...



 

POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT Do today's Gen Yers believe in themselves a little too much?

A Conspiracy of Doting
It's not really the Millennials who are to blame; it's their parents. We're talking about a generation of boomers who posted "My Child Is an Honor Roll Student" bumper stickers on their minivans and wanted to designate playing volleyball as being a cruel and unusual punishment. Of course the Millennials think they're magic. They were spoiled.
Generation X survived AIDS, Reagan, the Cold War. But consider the stress Millennials face today: simultaneously maintaining Facebook, MySpace, and Flickr accountsNow the boomers are teaming up with the younger generation in a new campaign to further render us obsolete. Where a Gen Xer was likely to get a tongue-lashing for borrowing a stapler from his/her boomer boss, the Millennials are finding boomers to be loving mentors, eager to show them the ropes. After all, the kids who are now coming of age and entering the workplace are, well, their babies. Boomers were doting parents from the get-go, and now, as they're beginning to retire, they want to ensure that their children hold the keys to the throne. Even younger Gen Xers, who were in many cases also raised by boomers, are getting screwed. They have to sit back and watch their younger, Millennial siblings bask in a generational conspiracy of doting.
Let's face facts: The boomers always detested Generation X. They felt threatened by our youth, confused by our lack of earnestness, and deeply troubled by our lack of appreciation for James Taylor. The boomers' entire identity was wrapped around being young and progressive. Gen X was an affront to their place in the world. What's more, they never understood us, instead insisting that our archetypal achievement—the blueprint for what made us tick—was a tawdry Ben Stiller film that featured Ethan Hawke as a pouty, manically depressed James Dean.
Since the '90s, boomers have plotted to turn us into the redheaded stepchild of generations. We were slackers. Cynical. We loved Pauly Shore. (Okay, their animosity is legitimate here.) (atari 2600 ed. I always had disdain for Mr. Shore, the spoiled kid of The Comedy Store founder, his was a simple case of blatant runaway nepotism.) Even our name, Generation X, was a slur, indicating namelessness and the feeling of being overshadowed by the boom. As defined in Wikipedia, "X referred to the namelessness of a generation that was coming into an awareness of its existence as a separate group but feeling overshadowed by the boomer generation." Overshadowed? How about kicked to the curb with nothing but the jewel case from In Utero to keep us warm?

http://www.radaronline.com/features/2008/05/generation_x_millennials_facebook_kevin_colvin_bab y_boomers_1.php
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Old 05.21.2008, 03:15 PM   #14
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it is all in jest you know.

art is art

most photography however, is not done with the intent or purpose of making a piece of art. it is documentary, or it is journalistic, or advertisement, or snapshots. All of these are valid and good and necesary, but they rarely create great art.
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Old 05.21.2008, 03:17 PM   #15
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Dude, you couldn't "instigate" your way out of a wet paper bag.

And to what end is the "instigation" anyway?

Please do tell how someone that routinely exhibits virtually no sense of baseline integrity is to accomplish anything truly worthwhile.
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Old 05.21.2008, 03:19 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by screamingskull
photography sucks and is not as good as sculpture or painting

duh
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Old 05.21.2008, 03:23 PM   #17
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don't take my words out of context crypto
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Old 05.21.2008, 03:24 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atari 2600
Dude, you couldn't "instigate" your way out of a wet paper bag.

And to what end is the "instigation" anyway?

Please do tell how someone that routinely exhibits virtually no sense of baseline integrity is to accomplish anything.

Hey, uh, dude, could you send me over some of your good stuff? I don't say this as a comment on your postl I just figure you know the right dealers. Word.
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Old 05.21.2008, 03:38 PM   #19
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you'd be amazed how badly the people I studied design with draw, it's not a required skill these days so lots of people who can't draw for shit end up being designers. A couple of decades ago a designer needed to be able to draw really well cause a lot of stuff was still done by hand but not anymore. It still comes up at some point, like a designer that was presenting something to me did some sketches to show the layout of some photos we were gonna be taking and they were so bad I just hope she doesn't present many ideas as sketches to her clients.
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Old 05.21.2008, 03:40 PM   #20
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In a blind contour drill in life drawing, the instructor announced to the class that he has never, in all his years of teaching, seen a student render the model in "perfect perspective" (his words) until I came along.

And I did that without even looking at the paper when making a mark. And yeah, most artists and art students I've known cannot draw all that well. And Ive certainly known or known of more than a few who were above average and did very passable work who thought they were excellent, when in actuality, they were just adequate and on the cusp of real competency.

The drawing paper was on easels, and we were using sticks of charcoal. We were allowed to look at the paper while using a kneaded rubber eraser, but not while using the charcoal.

Take it as purely self-aggrandizement if you must, but it's a fact.

And it certainly requires a degree of artistic talent and technical skill to routinely "compose" excellent photographs.
And in many ways, photography rendered naturalistic artwork obsolete.
This is not to say that artists should not learn to draw, however. No matter what the end result of a work looks like, it's absolutely integral to hone those skills.
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