[atsonicpark]

This stuff is absolutely brilliant!

This project is at least 7 albums of prank phone calls, described as “the most absurd phone pranks on the market”.

http://www.longmontpotioncastle.com/
http://www.last.fm/music/Longmont+Potion+Castle
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longmont_Potion_Castle
Longmont Potion Castle (born 1972 or 1973)[1] is the pseudonym of an anonymous surrealist prank caller who has been active in the Colorado area since 1987.[2] Details about his personal life are scarce and his real name is unknown to the public. Over the years, his mostly self-released albums have gained a cult following, notably amongst musicians.[3]

The LA Record describes Longmont Potion Castle's albums as unlike those which most people associate with prank telephone calls, citing that his demeanor is nothing at all like that of The Jerky Boys and Crank Yankers and is actually closer to that of the alternative comedian Neil Hamburger.[4] The magazine goes on to cite some of the topics discussed and parties dialed in the artist's calls: "peacock bowel, owl bowel, peacock meat, squid meat, gorilla ointment, Nugent, Orange Julius, biblioduwangus, the Epiphone Dolphin, pumpkin brew, GG Allin, UPS, and opportunities to engender a coalition with the Vatican."[5] In a review from the Denver Westword, LPC's recordings are described as advancing "absurdity as an art form."[6]


Check it out.

[atsonicpark]

Guess no one likes to laugh!

[Glice]

I'm listening, but I'm not laughing yet. Maybe it's not well known because it's shit?

[atsonicpark]

Hahaha.

[atsonicpark]

Great aquarius records review of the box set with every album:

Holy shit! This is the crank call mother lode. By now if you don't immediately start to giggle at the mere mention of Longmont Potion Castle, you are truly missing out. This one man prank call juggernaut has spent almost the last 20 years torturing unsuspecting folks, shop keepers, Radio Shack employees, old ladies, testosterone fueled jerks and pretty much everybody else with his totally surreal, unbelievably hilarious phone calls. This box set collects EVERY Longmont recording ever, including a whole disc of unreleased stuff, as well as the long out of print and barely available VHS tape on DVD for the first time! You think the calls are crazy, you should see the havoc this man can wreak on a call in talk show. This is absolutely essential for any one onto bizarre recordings, found sounds, prank calls, all around weirdness. Included in this box set is LONGMONT POTION CASTLE (originally released in 1988), LONGMONT POTION CASTLE II (originally released in 1992), LONGMONT POTION CASTLE III (originally released in 1995), LONGMONT POTION CASTLE 4 (originally released in 2002), LATE EIGHTIES-VEIN (originally released in 2003), LONGMONT POTION CASTLE 5 (originally released in 2005), a bonus disc that includes a lot of the metal interludes that were cut when the original cassettes were transferred to cd, and the original LONGMONT POTION CASTLE VHS tape, now on DVD(-r) for the first time with tons of extra footage. Also includes a massive set of liner notes, with detailed track listings and the story behind each disc, as well as a custom LPC magnet. Each one personally signed by Mr. LPC himself! Here's some of our past raves about all things LPC:

 

How can you not love a guy who gets off on torturing the clerks at radio shack and is obsessed with Tandy products?! A guy who spits out the most retarded and baffling products/names/etc: gugliata, voltor, leprechanjulius!! And on one disc, he continually harasses a foul mouthed cantakerous old man, but by the end of the disc, they become buddies, with the old man asking how the tape was going and LPC promising to send him a copy. FUCKING HEARTWARMING! How often do you get that on a crank call record?!!? Stupid and silly and once in a while totally inspired. This is still to this day constantly in the stereo on all of our road trips and so much Longmmont verbiage has become vernacular for us and all of our friends. Longmont Potion Castle is the master of deadpan confusional telephone terror. Mr. Longmont no longer practices his art, having hung up his phone (hee hee... sorry) several years ago. But we can still listen and laugh. This stuff never stops being funny. The cool thing about LPC, is he's not an asshole, and he doesn't necessarily set out to piss people off, even though it's obviously inevitable. And when he does get in a tough guy "I'll kick your ass" sort of verbal sparring match, his choice of threats are so ridiculous and nonsensical, you find yourself almost embarassed for him, like the little tiny kid who is oblivious to his mortality and insists on standing up to the bully and always gets his ass whupped. Then add in his obsession with squid meat and an amazing litany of bizarre items / objects / names / services he invokes or offers or pretends to be looking for: Spencer Zebra, Aqualamb, Chowder Julius, Wovenloaf, Frickey Weaver, Chimp Giraffe Loop (making us laugh just typing those!). Wow! It really is amazingly funny. And bizarre. Easily the best, funniest, most bizarre series of crank calls ever. There's the always popular picking fights with strangers, but Mr. LPC does it so much better than most with his Steven Wright deadpan and his ridiculous non-sequiters. Constant references to deliveries of peacocks from Lithuania, offers of free manure, and an endless litany of nonsensical recommendations, bizarre suggestions, and problematic overtures, all delivered in that likeable guy-next-door deadpan. Always does raise the question WHY DON'T PEOPLE JUST HANG UP?!?! Lucky for us they don't. We also get a dose of Longmont's metal obsession with the occasional freaked out death metal interludes. So dumb and funny and brilliant. Be sure and keep your ears peeled for a truly distrubing call, that goes from funny to really fucking sad in a matter of minutes, between LPC, a depressed suicidal goth teen and his overbearing fucked up dad. Wow. these discs are full of magic moments like that, a few sad, lots of them just plain demented, but most of them so completely bust a gut hilarious!!

 

So buy this or we'll start talkin' whip, and may even bring a tennis racket toyaleyup!!!

Why would anyone buy an album made entirely of prank calls?

[atsonicpark]

Why would anyone buy a cd of nothing but feedback?

One man's trash.. blah blah.

Let me put it like this, I can listen to an 80 minute cd by this guy way easier than I can most band's 40 minute cd's. Then again, I like to listen to things that are interesting.

[atsonicpark]

http://www.markprindle.com/longmont.htm

[atsonicpark]

I am using this thread to declare that I no longer am going to listen to music. Just Longmont Potion Castle.

[atsonicpark]

"You try to drop 800 pounds of putty here and there'll be trouble!"

"Gonna level you wit' my whip."

Haha, me and my mom and grandpa just listened to a whole disc of this stuff and we were laughing our asses off.

There's this great series of phone calls on volume 3 where Longmont dude manipulates a pitchshifter and a flanger pedal and talks to a bunch of people who are all confused of course and there's one part where this girl goes "THAT'S AWESOME MAN! HOW'D YOU DO THAT?"

My favorite so far has been this series of calls on the end of volume 2, where this guy gets really pissed off but by the end him and Longmont dude end up being friendly and Longmont offers to mail him a copy of his tape.

This shit is so brilliant.

"Can I speak to Clit Kitatoochie?"


Haha, "Can I ask you about Wizard of War... does it have a joystick on it? Can I trade some putty for it? Putty, not money. I wanted to trade something for Wizard of War.. some, like, putty, uh-huh, if that's acceptable... chewable.... How about a zebra? Um, how bout like something like bronze statuary, some pottery, some hummals.. some souvenir spoons, some oriental rugs and stuff... how about rod iron or teek? How about a '67 Mercury Cougar? Um, it's missing all 4 doors. And all the wheels and tires. And windows. Can I come over and play it? Just for a quarter each time? Ehh..."

[Toilet & Bowels]

it is quite entertaining

[atsonicpark]

http://lucidmedia.blogspot.com/search?q=longmont = every album.

[DNAINTHEDNA]

longmont is awesome

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

Why would anyone buy a cd of nothing but feedback?

.

Hmmm........let me think......because it's more entertaining than this crap?

[DNAINTHEDNA]

Originally Posted by sarramkrop

Hmmm........let me think......because it's more entertaining than this crap?

this is pretty much what people who hate noise and avant music say heh

[DNAINTHEDNA]

"my name is bert"

"well......FUCK YOU BERT"

Originally Posted by DNAINTHEDNA

this is pretty much what people who hate noise and avant music say heh

I don't like some noise. I like some noise.

[DNAINTHEDNA]

Originally Posted by Bytor Peltor

Then others play the prank phone calls on one turntable at the same time while playing the feedback on another turntable and call it a radio show......

pretty much

[atsonicpark]

I dunno what to tell you sarramkrop. It's simply some of the funniest stuff I've ever heard. If absurdist prank phone calls aren't your thing...

Oh, if anyone's a fan of this and wants something similiar, check out Matt Besser's "May I Help You (dumbass)". I've heard quite a few prank phone call cd's and this is the only other one to make me laugh as much as Longmont. Basically, Matt's phone number ends up being printed on an internet tech support help ad and instead of just hanging up on people, he eventually began recording himself fucking with the "customers". So, it's like reverse-prank calls. Good shit.

"Can you make any wasp jerky for me? I've already got it all USDA approved and everything."
"Who'd ya vote fer? I want you to join my coalition."
"That's.. uh.. my parochial nimrod."
"I'VE BEEN ON THE WATER FOR 44 YEARS, AND ON THE SEA FOR HALF THAT LONG!"
She did the Ferrari method for like 45 minutes and she came out lookin' like a Maserati, it was AWUHsome."
"How would you like a spider aimed at your head?"
"I need you to find me a triangular bed..."
"I'm the bringer of pain... to your FACE-ah..."
"Orange julius... do you guys have .. chowder julius?"
"Bring it on a rope.....TO YOUR LIPS"

Ladies and gentlemen... a promotional LPC PENCIL!:
http://cgi.ebay.com/LONGMONT-POTION-CASTLE-Promotional-Pencil-Prank-Calls_W0QQitemZ190296363309QQihZ009QQcategoryZ1467 QQcmdZViewItem

[pbradley]

Originally Posted by DNAINTHEDNA

this is pretty much what people who hate Magik Markers say heh

lolololol go about your business, gentlemen