if you found out a good friend was a rapist/murderer/etc would you still be friends?

atsonicpark · 07.28.2009, 09:08 PM

I have known this dude for a long time who recently admitted to me that he tried to rape a girl once and she fought him off. He said he felt really bad about it, though he still wants to rape women sometimes but he controls himself. This really kinda disturbed me and I just replied with, "uh, that's fucked up." I mean, what else could I say? He didn't confide in me, he was telling a bunch of people about it. He certainly didn't seem remorseful though again this was like 8 years ago, apparently.

Still, it made me stop and think... I don't want to hold people's past "sins " against them, and we all probably have some fucked up shit in our past. Also, along the same lines here, we don't ever REALLY know anybody... what people think, all that they've done and so on...

Anyway, I won't treat him too differently but I gotta admit that it was just really fucked up and I dunno if I want to be around him for a while because he just seems like a completely different person than the guy I "knew"...

...

My question for you is: If you had a friend who was a rapist or you found out they killed somebody or did something else really fucked up, would you still be their friend? Has this happened to anyone else?... Obviously, that's kind of a broad question and it probably depends on the circumstances, but I dunno.. I just don't know how I could ever look at this person the same way again. He wasn't really my friend but he was definitely a good acquaintance of mine.

Sonic Youth 37 · 07.28.2009, 09:11 PM

Rapist: no. I find sex crimes to be the foulest of all.
Murder: I'd have no problem being friends with a person that killed someone is self-defense or something. But no 1st degree.

amerikangod · 07.28.2009, 09:16 PM

Well, let me ask you this... how do you all feel about me?

Satan · 07.28.2009, 09:23 PM

rape: no excuse. no.
murder: honestly i'm fine with that as long as they had a good reason.

Anngella · 07.28.2009, 09:24 PM

Probably not. I also would stop being friends with someone if I found out they tortured animals.

schizophrenicroom · 07.28.2009, 09:24 PM

if the killing is justifiable then sure, but any kind of sex crime: no.

Anngella · 07.28.2009, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by schizophrenicroom

if the killing is justifiable then sure, but any kind of sex crime: no.

Statutory rape when guy is 19 and girl is 16 and it was consensual but the girl's parents found out and got mad? Gogogo.

atsonicpark · 07.28.2009, 09:33 PM

Yeeeeeeah. I just think, in general, I'm going to probably avoid him for a while. I'm just creeped out.

amerikangod · 07.28.2009, 09:42 PM

Statutory rape ain't rape.

Shifty Prophet · 07.28.2009, 09:44 PM

This question hits home to me.

coming up I had a friend who's older brother always talked about ''rapin' this bitch, or that bitch'' and not in the joking manner either. He was an asshole and in the end did rape at least one girl, his story was that she wanted him and he didn't really wanna hit it, but did because ''pussy is pussy'' and then he ran his mouth so she said he raped her. I might could believe this from somebody else I knew, but it hit too close to home with that guy. He was convicted and chewed his peanut butter like a man.

Rapist, I would not want to be friends with, unless they really understood how much they fucked up and were willing to pay the consequences and change whatever the hell in them they needed to.

Killers. All the killers I know had reasons they did what they did, and for the most part I can see where they were coming from. Put in the same situation as some of my friends, a lot of self-righteous, uber moral snobs would pull the fucking trigger without thinking twice.

Satan · 07.28.2009, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amerikangod

Statutory rape ain't rape.

thank you.

dirty bunny · 07.28.2009, 09:47 PM

It's interesting that a lot of people can't forgive rape, but are ok with killing. On the other hand, you can't rape in self-defense.

And to answer the central question, I guess honestly it would depend on the person, how removed it was from the time they did it, and only if they had changed.

Rob Instigator · 07.28.2009, 09:49 PM

tough question. probably not.

amerikangod · 07.28.2009, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satan

thank you.

All of my usual joking aside, I completely hate how as a society we pretend we're not attracted to our sexually developed youth, as if having sex with them is unthinkable a day before their 18th birthday but totally squaresies the day after it.

If a 15 year-old girl is incredibly hot, I will want to do all kinds of things to her. Will I? Well, that depends on her maturity level. If she knew what she was getting into, could handle sex emotionally, and was of clear mind, I'd go for it. The only thing that'd really hold me back in that case would be the legality of it.

cryptowonderdruginvogue · 07.28.2009, 10:33 PM

Nope.

Fuck rapists and murderers.

Shifty Prophet · 07.28.2009, 10:48 PM

A lot of people who were acting in self defense are lumped into the category of murderers, so you should think twice about that shit.

pbradley · 07.28.2009, 10:56 PM

A friend of mine molested another friend of mine. They were both really drunk, though, and he was mortified and confessed to me. He also begged her to forgive him. She hasn't and probably never will, despite being one of the most vocal Christians I know, but I'm still friends with him considering the length of our friendship having been quite spotless and the sincerity of his remorse.

However, I don't think this situation is comparable to actual rape.

atsonicpark · 07.28.2009, 11:02 PM

"Murder" is the unlawful killing of another person. Acting in self-defense (aka "a self defense killing", aka "not MURDER") goes without saying, since it's basically legal.

girl! · 07.28.2009, 11:03 PM

If they were accused? Don't know. Depends on how well I know the person.

If they did it and admitted to it. Nope. Sorry, that is no longer a friend of mine. I have no desire to be friends with a rapist or murderer, no matter how great a friend they were before that. Hell, even if it were family. No.

Of course, the exception of self-defense on the murder thing.

Shifty Prophet · 07.28.2009, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

"Murder" is the unlawful killing of another person. Acting in self-defense (aka "a self defense killing", aka "not MURDER") goes without saying, since it's basically legal.

There's the definition, there's what actually happened and there's what the judge wants to presume and deduce from the enviroment surrounding you.

I'm just saying, I know KNOW people in jail for murder that were defending themselves. Don't be naive, this can be a fucked world.

07.28.2009, 09:08 PM	#1
atsonicpark invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 28,843	I have known this dude for a long time who recently admitted to me that he tried to rape a girl once and she fought him off. He said he felt really bad about it, though he still wants to rape women sometimes but he controls himself. This really kinda disturbed me and I just replied with, "uh, that's fucked up." I mean, what else could I say? He didn't confide in me, he was telling a bunch of people about it. He certainly didn't seem remorseful though again this was like 8 years ago, apparently. Still, it made me stop and think... I don't want to hold people's past "sins " against them, and we all probably have some fucked up shit in our past. Also, along the same lines here, we don't ever REALLY know anybody... what people think, all that they've done and so on... Anyway, I won't treat him too differently but I gotta admit that it was just really fucked up and I dunno if I want to be around him for a while because he just seems like a completely different person than the guy I "knew"... ... My question for you is: If you had a friend who was a rapist or you found out they killed somebody or did something else really fucked up, would you still be their friend? Has this happened to anyone else?... Obviously, that's kind of a broad question and it probably depends on the circumstances, but I dunno.. I just don't know how I could ever look at this person the same way again. He wasn't really my friend but he was definitely a good acquaintance of mine. __________________
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07.28.2009, 09:11 PM	#2
Sonic Youth 37 invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: if there is a bright spot in the universe, the farthest point from it Posts: 9,443	Rapist: no. I find sex crimes to be the foulest of all. Murder: I'd have no problem being friends with a person that killed someone is self-defense or something. But no 1st degree. __________________ "One: Where's the fife? and Two: Gimme the fife."
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07.28.2009, 09:16 PM	#3
amerikangod invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,761	Well, let me ask you this... how do you all feel about me? __________________
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07.28.2009, 09:23 PM	#4
Satan invito al cielo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: noo yawk Posts: 6,331	rape: no excuse. no. murder: honestly i'm fine with that as long as they had a good reason. __________________ "I love meth." - batreleaser
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07.28.2009, 09:24 PM	#5
Anngella expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Vagina Posts: 1,900	Probably not. I also would stop being friends with someone if I found out they tortured animals. __________________ FLICKR http://slouchingsunflowers.tumblr.com/
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07.28.2009, 09:24 PM	#6
schizophrenicroom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: behind you Posts: 10,807	if the killing is justifiable then sure, but any kind of sex crime: no. __________________ fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art"
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07.28.2009, 09:33 PM	#8
atsonicpark invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 28,843	Yeeeeeeah. I just think, in general, I'm going to probably avoid him for a while. I'm just creeped out. __________________
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07.28.2009, 09:42 PM	#9
amerikangod invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,761	Statutory rape ain't rape. __________________
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07.28.2009, 09:44 PM	#10
Shifty Prophet 100% Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Posts: 725	This question hits home to me. coming up I had a friend who's older brother always talked about ''rapin' this bitch, or that bitch'' and not in the joking manner either. He was an asshole and in the end did rape at least one girl, his story was that she wanted him and he didn't really wanna hit it, but did because ''pussy is pussy'' and then he ran his mouth so she said he raped her. I might could believe this from somebody else I knew, but it hit too close to home with that guy. He was convicted and chewed his peanut butter like a man. Rapist, I would not want to be friends with, unless they really understood how much they fucked up and were willing to pay the consequences and change whatever the hell in them they needed to. Killers. All the killers I know had reasons they did what they did, and for the most part I can see where they were coming from. Put in the same situation as some of my friends, a lot of self-righteous, uber moral snobs would pull the fucking trigger without thinking twice.
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07.28.2009, 09:47 PM	#12
dirty bunny expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: oh, why Texas actually Posts: 1,679	It's interesting that a lot of people can't forgive rape, but are ok with killing. On the other hand, you can't rape in self-defense. And to answer the central question, I guess honestly it would depend on the person, how removed it was from the time they did it, and only if they had changed. __________________ kiss me kiss me in the shadow of a doubt
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07.28.2009, 09:49 PM	#13
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,943	tough question. probably not. __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
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07.28.2009, 10:33 PM	#15
cryptowonderdruginvogue invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: the party Posts: 10,281	Nope. Fuck rapists and murderers.
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07.28.2009, 10:48 PM	#16
Shifty Prophet 100% Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Posts: 725	A lot of people who were acting in self defense are lumped into the category of murderers, so you should think twice about that shit.
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07.28.2009, 10:56 PM	#17
pbradley invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SoKo Posts: 10,621	A friend of mine molested another friend of mine. They were both really drunk, though, and he was mortified and confessed to me. He also begged her to forgive him. She hasn't and probably never will, despite being one of the most vocal Christians I know, but I'm still friends with him considering the length of our friendship having been quite spotless and the sincerity of his remorse. However, I don't think this situation is comparable to actual rape.
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07.28.2009, 11:02 PM	#18
atsonicpark invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 28,843	"Murder" is the unlawful killing of another person. Acting in self-defense (aka "a self defense killing", aka "not MURDER") goes without saying, since it's basically legal. __________________
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07.28.2009, 11:03 PM	#19
girl! little trouble girl Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 54	If they were accused? Don't know. Depends on how well I know the person. If they did it and admitted to it. Nope. Sorry, that is no longer a friend of mine. I have no desire to be friends with a rapist or murderer, no matter how great a friend they were before that. Hell, even if it were family. No. Of course, the exception of self-defense on the murder thing.
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