so, ive decided to perform human sacrifice in january

Cantankerous · 11.21.2006, 06:46 PM

who's first in line?

jon boy · 11.21.2006, 06:56 PM

yourself?

atari 2600 · 11.21.2006, 06:57 PM

http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/sho...36&postcount=5

I'll be doing a performance piece soon & I'm thrilled to invite you all to participate.

I will be restrained & each of you in attendance will be given a carving knife to slice off some of me.
A hibachi will be placed nearby & you can then opt to take the flesh-chunk & grill it.
Skewers & paper plates will also be provided, but no napkins or bibs, so you might want to BYOBib.

A mini-sledge concrete hammer will be also be on hand to facilitate the cracking of my skull for the dessert course which will, no doubt, be a welcome treat to any latecomers.

This will be both my first & my last performance piece, but those that are so inclined are welcome to engage in any religious rituals that they deem appropriate for the occasion at the event.

I'll be letting all of you know where & when & hope to see all of you there.

P.S. Not to disappoint anyone, but I've already received an RSVP back with dibs on my penis and balls. My rectum is, however, for the time being anyway, still up for grabs.

atari 2600 · 11.21.2006, 08:09 PM

Didn't like the rehash, eh? I added the P.S.

!@#$%! · 11.21.2006, 08:15 PM

i like jon boy's answer best.

as for atari-- man, you smoke too much to taste good. any chance we could sacrifice a young virgin instead? it's the traditional thing to do anyway...

EMMAh · 11.21.2006, 08:17 PM

I think Dr. Phil should be first in line? No?

Drella · 11.21.2006, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EMMAh

I think Dr. Phil should be first in line? No?

um, no.

stenson · 11.21.2006, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bunbury

nEAT-o white chocoLATE mACADEMIA 2600, all yr missing is the gOLD*en meret oppenheim face.

you can CONsider this jpeg a gift.

love you,
Bunbury.

----------

*OLD as in your cannibal fEAsT idea has been done to dEATh and is BOAR*ing.

---------

*BOAR as in the animal commonly found with a apELLE in its mouth during a fEAsT/ the center piece.

I love how you write your messages, repped

EMMAh · 11.21.2006, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drella

um, no.

So you're a fan of the Texan bald man?

artsygrrl · 11.21.2006, 09:02 PM

Do we get to lay you out on an alter and cut your heart out then kick your quivering body down like a hundred steps.....like the Mayans???

Drella · 11.21.2006, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EMMAh

So you're a fan of the Texan bald man?

um, no.

Drella · 11.21.2006, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artsygrrl

Do we get to lay you out on an alter and cut your heart out then kick your quivering body down like a hundred steps.....like the Mayans???

yes, thats right.

EMMAh · 11.21.2006, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drella

um, no.

Hmm, then who better than Dr.Phil? Personally, I can't think of anyone...

11.22.2006, 05:59 AM

Quote:

so, ive decided to perform human sacrifice in january

emo-goth?

haha.

king_buzzo · 11.22.2006, 06:00 AM

i do not know.

Pookie · 11.22.2006, 06:11 AM

Find an old person who hasn't long to live and see if they want to go out in an unusual way.

(See Bill Hicks for very funny routine along the same lines).

Tokolosh · 11.22.2006, 06:25 AM

You started the trend for crap threads, so shut your hole pig!

Pookie · 11.22.2006, 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toto

You started the trend for crap threads, so shut your hole pig!

"Pig hole" would have sounded better.

sonicl · 11.22.2006, 06:38 AM

Hmmm. Now that the backlash has started, I think I'll cancel my proposed "So, I've decided to perform open heart surgery in January" thread.

atari 2600 · 11.22.2006, 10:55 AM

Sure, I taste good; I'm brimming with smoky goodness.

Tom Brokaw: Okay, who are we up to?

Voice of Producer: Uh.. we're still on Presidents. Gerald Ford.

Tom Brokaw: Gerald Ford? Well, he's in good shape..

Voice of Producer: Just covering our bases, Tom. You never know..

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1996" appears over Tom's left shoulder ] "Gerald Ford dead today at the age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Okay, good. Annd, one for next year.

Tom Brokaw: Alright.. [ graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1997" ] "Gerald Ford dead today, at age 84."

Voice of Producer: Uh.. a little sadder.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ sad ] "Gerald Ford dead today.. at age 84.."

Voice of Producer: That was good. Good.

Tom Brokaw: Okay, what now?

Voice of Producer: Now let's do one for if he's shot.

Tom Brokaw: Well, what are the chances of that?

Voice of Producer: We're just covering contingencies.

Tom Brokaw: I mean, it just seems that Gerald Ford..

Voice of Producer: Look - you're the one who wants to spend the whole winter in Barbados, okay? Now, we gotta be ready with something, just in case. Alright, Tom?

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1996" ] "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at age 83."

Voice of Producer: Uh.. add the word "senseless".

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at the senseless age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Um.. uh..

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. "Gerald Ford shot senselessly dead, at the age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Okay, now suicide.

Tom Brokaw: What?!

Voice of Producer: Just read it!

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford dead today, after jupming out of an office building, senselessly."

Voice of Producer: That's a nice touch. Okay, moving on.

Tom Brokaw: Okay. "Gerald Ford dead today, from an overdose of crack cocaine."

Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Next.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ graphic of Gerald Ford and a commuter plane ] "Stunning news from Michigan, as former President Gerald Ford was chopped into little bits by the propeller of a commuter plane."

Voice of Producer: Good. One take.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, we got it?

Voice of Producer: No. We've got "eaten by wolves".

Tom Brokaw: What? Now, come on!

Voice of Producer: Just read it!

Tom Brokaw: Gerald Ford isn't gonna be eaten by wolves!

Voice of Producer: Taft was.

Tom Brokaw: Really? Taft?

Voice of Producer: Uh.. yeah.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Ford surrounded by a pair of wolves ] "Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious." Now.. now, that's just superfluous, you know?

Voice of Producer: It's a former President, Tom. What do you say - he's not delicious?

Tom Brokaw: Alright, fine.. what's next?

Voice of Producer: The double story.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ graphic of Ford and map of France ] "A fireball destroyed France today, and Gerald Ford is dead." Now, what are the odds of that?

Voice of Producer: Fine. We'll get Stone Phillips to do it. You know, I'm sure Stone Phillips would be thrilled to break a story like that!

Tom Brokaw: Alright. Let's keep moving.. [ graphic of Ford and the corpse of Richard Nixon ] "Stunning news from Yorba Linda today, as Richard Nixon's corpse climbed out of his grave and strangled Gerald For to death."

Voice of Producer: Excellent.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ graphic of Ford and circus lion ] "Gerald Ford was mauled senselessly by a circus lion in a convenience store."

Voice of Producer: Good. Next.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford is dead today, and I'm gay." Now, wait a minute!

Voice of Producer: What? That'd be a huge story - Ford dying, and you coming out!

Tom Brokaw: But I'm not gay!

Voice of Producer: Today you're not gay, you know.. but then one day you wake up, you like men, and Gerald Ford dies, and we're screwed. Everyone's hearing about it from Dan Rather!

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. what's this for?

[ graphic of Gerald Ford and the Zimbabwee flag appears ]

Voice of Producer: Alright, this one's for if we're invaded by Zimbabwee.

Tom Brokaw: Would I still be the anchor if Zimbabwee invaded us?

Voice of Producer: Yeah.. if you break the Gerald Ford story, you will..

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Hola bambe, hungala dimba Gerald Ford.. *click* *click* *click* *click* ..hola bambe, allah bumba bubba hulla humba hey."

Voice of Producer: Very nice. Very nice. A little sadder, please.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ sadly ] "Hola bambe, hungala dimba Gerald Ford.. *click* *click* ..hola bambe.."

[ fade ]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sonicl

Hmmm. Now that the backlash has started, I think I'll cancel my proposed "So, I've decided to perform open heart surgery in January" thread.

Yeah, guess I'll scrap plans for a "So, you'd like to know how to survive in the woods for three days in January" thread.

11.21.2006, 06:46 PM	#1
Cantankerous invito al cielo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A RETIREMENT HOME Posts: 18,499	who's first in line? __________________ RETIRED
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11.21.2006, 06:56 PM	#2
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	yourself? __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
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11.21.2006, 06:57 PM	#3
atari 2600 invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,212	http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/sho...36&postcount=5 I'll be doing a performance piece soon & I'm thrilled to invite you all to participate. I will be restrained & each of you in attendance will be given a carving knife to slice off some of me. A hibachi will be placed nearby & you can then opt to take the flesh-chunk & grill it. Skewers & paper plates will also be provided, but no napkins or bibs, so you might want to BYOBib. A mini-sledge concrete hammer will be also be on hand to facilitate the cracking of my skull for the dessert course which will, no doubt, be a welcome treat to any latecomers. This will be both my first & my last performance piece, but those that are so inclined are welcome to engage in any religious rituals that they deem appropriate for the occasion at the event. I'll be letting all of you know where & when & hope to see all of you there. P.S. Not to disappoint anyone, but I've already received an RSVP back with dibs on my penis and balls. My rectum is, however, for the time being anyway, still up for grabs. __________________ Robert Rauschenberg, Canyon, 1959. Combine on canvas 81 3/4 x 70 x 24 inches.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

11.21.2006, 08:09 PM	#4
atari 2600 invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,212	Didn't like the rehash, eh? I added the P.S.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

11.21.2006, 08:15 PM	#5
!@#$%! invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: mars attacks Posts: 42,520	i like jon boy's answer best. as for atari-- man, you smoke too much to taste good. any chance we could sacrifice a young virgin instead? it's the traditional thing to do anyway...
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11.21.2006, 08:17 PM	#6
EMMAh invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,433	I think Dr. Phil should be first in line? No? __________________
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11.21.2006, 09:02 PM	#10
artsygrrl the end of the ugly Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan, USA Posts: 961	Do we get to lay you out on an alter and cut your heart out then kick your quivering body down like a hundred steps.....like the Mayans???
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11.22.2006, 06:00 AM	#15
king_buzzo invito al cielo Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 11,110	i do not know.
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11.22.2006, 06:11 AM	#16
Pookie invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 9,877	Find an old person who hasn't long to live and see if they want to go out in an unusual way. (See Bill Hicks for very funny routine along the same lines).
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

11.22.2006, 06:25 AM	#17
Tokolosh invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Plaza de Toros Posts: 6,731	You started the trend for crap threads, so shut your hole pig! __________________ Anything you can /imagine is real
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

11.22.2006, 06:38 AM	#19
sonicl invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 9,527	Hmmm. Now that the backlash has started, I think I'll cancel my proposed "So, I've decided to perform open heart surgery in January" thread.
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